There is superstition, writings on the wall.

Awaiting college decisions is a rollarcoaster of a ride. I’m still waiting, and this will probably be an extended post as more results come in, I will type more. 

Now, first, I have already been rejected more than accepted. I only applied to five schools in the US and I only applied to the top schools. Like top of the top, acceptance rate below 15% kinda places. (Why? cause I’m an idiot hahaha) A few days before they were about to be released, I was hungry for information so I began my journey of forum hopping + extensive email reading and sending. Finally, thanks to College Confidential (which doesn’t seem all that reliable), I found out the specific times and dates of the arrival of that email. But looking back on that, I think I must have been slightly crazy. College decisions seriously make people a little bit crazy and intense. It was quite funny and interesting to see how intense people are getting. 

Another sign of me going slightly insane was the fact that I tried to look for signs everywhere. Like, this ID for this school has the number 27 in it! It’s my brother’s godbrother’s favourite number so I DEFINITELY will get in. Looking back, I see how crazy that might be. But in such desperate situations, we are all grasping for some sort of hope, some sort of control and knowledge so we don’t feel lost and out of control. Like me, I become weirdly obsessive at finding out ALL the details available on the internet (which is ALOT I might add) and scarily optimistic. I’m a natural optimist (which sometimes sucks because I hope and when it doesn’t come true, it’s disappointing) and I always hope for the best. It’s hard to kill the fluttering hope. As the situation boils down to two last schools, I find myself more and more optimistic and hopeful. Perhaps, I’m just clinging to something, anything. 

Sometimes, we just gotta relinquish control and to manage our expectations. Sometimes, we gotta learn to give up and follow whatever path laid in front of us. It’s tough. It really is. I’ll see how I am after tonight when all my decisions are out. 😀 Wish me luck! 

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