I realized today that my family probably most likely ruined my chances of having a boyfriend. Not because they don’t want me to have one but because the fill so much of my love and my life. How can another person fit into it? It’s not so much that a person cannot mix with my family or my family will not accept anyone. But I have such a beautiful crazy supportive family, they fill all my needs and wants. They support me, tell me I’m being a doofus, understand me, their opinions matter to me the most. I tell them everything and even if i’m keeping a secret, I’ll eventually tell them. They know darkest secrets. I mean, how can anyone compete with that? I just can’t think of how another person could fit into my life or add more to it. They will always understand me best, they knew me from the beginning so they understand my thinking and I don’t have to explain jokes or be any different. They know what buttons to push to piss me off or hurt me or comfort me. I have a very full family, and I think it’s hindered people entering my life. Like long time ago, if my friends were going out, I would have a family dinner and I would alway choose my family first because it was the natural thing to do. But slowly I realized that my relationships were shallow and built on minimal time spent with others. But I need to find the balance. My family will always be my priority. No matter what. I think that perhaps my love life is screwed hahaha. But I say this now, maybe not having been able to find anyone yet. I don’t know but I’m optimistic. Maybe I’ll find someone who adds to my life like I wouldn’t imagine. I should keep an open mind, I guess.
Also, my family has discovered my blog! HELLO NG FAMILY! Please don’t embarrass me here.