Graveyards and jealousy

I’ve been having awesome weekends left, right and center. This last weekend, was an extra long one because of Vesak Day (which I still havent figured out celebrates what.) I know I said I don’t talk much about my day-to-day life but this weekend taught me a lot of things that I want to share.


I downloaded this app called Carousell, and it connects people who want to sell and people who want to buy. (I just realised that sentence sounded really stupid). Anyway, I was introduced to this app by my friend, yinzhou, like in the beginning of the year. But the I broke my iphone and never had a chance to use it. Anyway, I digress. But I did in fact purchase a lot of things on that app, I bought a new….wait for it…camera!! πŸ˜€


It is an Fujifilm Instax 210 which shoots pretty well. I had my doubts about it, espcially it’s performance under low light but I found that if you put the setting to “darken” the photo turns out better! I only realised this after using about one and a half packs of film. I really love this new camera. I love waiting for the photo to turn out and getting used to a new camera. I miss my Lomo LC-Wide which my sister broke snorkelling. So I’m looking forward to making memories with this camera and hopefully not breaking it into pieces (another problem with this camera, or so I have read.) Buying film was a pain the whole week, I simply couldn’t find any! But I found a good shop that sells it at about $14.50 which is still crazy expensive. I really have to ration this bad boys, hahaha

After getting that beauteous camera, I had to rush down from AMK to Harbourfont to meet my SOTA friends, Nabil, Amni, Keng Yang, Yan Lee and Crystle. It was fun, we went to the new Adventure Cove in Singapore which was fully packed. We heard one guy tell his friend that the river was a great place to pee….. which disturbed us pretty much that we found the nearest exit. But we did this obstacle course, which to my newly posted NS men friends, too easy. I forgot what it was like to exercise and get some adrenaline pumping action. I probably should start doing some actual exercise soon…..

Anyway, after a great fun 2 hours there, I explored pirate boats with Crystle & Judith and then I had to rush off to meet my family at the Ritz. Now, the 24th of May was my brother’s birthday, which we all remembered and took advantage for us to get free cake (we are devious bunch, I know.) I probably should mention, my brother is in Boston, striving every day to make his music career. It’s pretty amazing, I’ll show you his new music video in the next post.

Anyway, we had high tea which is basically my favourite meal of the day, hands down. It was the Japanese High Tea with a real Japanese tea ceremony which I loved. After accepting a challenge to eat 11 chocolates and 3 chocolate cookies, I found I was so full. But all was good because in honor of a nice weekend and brother’s birthday, we booked a room at the Ritz. It was a beautiful view and room. We also booked tickets to watch The Great Gatsby. Which was amazing. I love Scott Fitzgerald, and The Great Gatsby. Just amazing. You see, I’m always torned between those books made into movies. There’s no way the movie can replicate the book in totality. The books write using the writers’ and our imagination. They can write stuff like, “his back stiffened” or “his eyes showed the secrets that I was too afraid to learn” but THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. But I want to see it infront of me. I want to see all that I read before my eyes. I have a pretty wild imagination but it’s different experiencing it with your senses. Now, sure the movie missed out the romance between Nick and Jordan which can be used to juxtapose Gatsby’s and Daisy relationship, and other inconsequential things like the man in the library was at the funeral and he said, “that sad/poor son of a bitch” (or something along those lines). But it was good. And I knew Leonardo Di Caprio could carry that Gatsby air but the surprise was Carey Mulligan. I was so afraid people would like her and mistake her for being a victim. But there was something about her that made people not sympathise with her, which I felt was unbelievable. Also, I secretly started screaming and jumping up and down whenever I heard a line from the book, like “I’m overcome with happiness”,”a pretty little fool”, “Daisy and Tom Buchanan was careless people.” “borne ceaselessly back” and “I love big parties because they are so intimate. There’s no privacy in small parties.”

Saturday: After that, we had dinner and went to sleep. I had those dreams where you think you wake up but you’re actually asleep until you wake up for sure and are supremely confused when the clock had turn back time. After that, we had bak kut teh and went to my grandma’s house to do some overdued, Qing Ming.

At the graveyard, I’m always struck by the history of my family, albeit only on one side. These people were someone’s grandma or mother or aunt. Like my mother’s grandmother, or my mother’s father. They are what my grandma and what my father is to me. And these people have impacted the lives of the people around me. It’s always mind boggling but interesting. We only think about how people are related to us. Oh that’s my granduncle, my great grandmother, my grandfather. We don’t normally think about how that granduncle was the closest sibling my grandmother had or how my mother had her own grandmother. It makes you think about what the siblings did that made them so close or how that grandma treated my mother. I find it fascinating and I think Qing Ming is really important to remember our ancestors and to learn more about your family and just to be a good filial daughter, grand niece or great grand daughter.

Sunday: The night before I got my sister hooked on the app, carousell, and we started buying a bunch of crap. And we decided to meet all the dealers the next day in the afternoon. My sister is going to a wedding in Chicago and she wanted to buy a new dress so we bought a dress…and then another….and then a skirt….and then another dress…. I know we should be ashamed. We are. hahahaha Anyway, we went to pick them up and I showed her how scary it could be (seeing as how, I successfully did a deal for my camera). If you’re alone, that’s scary shit. You don’t know who is coming, and you start thinking to yourself, will it be a girl? will it be a guy?? do i look at him/her/it?! How do I approach them? what if it’s not the right person? What if I get mugged?!?! is it that girl? or that girl? or that one??? Anyway, you can go crazy just panicking in a corner outside Bread Talk. Luckily, all of them came, and they were not psychos like me πŸ™‚

After that, I had a great dim sum lunch and my friend, daren came over to watch pitch perfect which he had never watched! (I blame NS on this one) As usual, Rebel wilson stole the show. I also ate the whole bag of yupi burgers…. which was delicious πŸ˜€ I also love Japanese snacks, they have good chocolate. I probably should write another post on the superior taste of Royce chocolate another time. But I digress. After the movie, when daren hid from my mum, (because he claims he is shy, is meeting parents that scary?? I love meeting parents!) but then shyly introduced himself, I went to my friend, Vicky’s show, Fat Kids are Harder to Kidnap: 3D.

This requires a new paragraph.

Fat Kids was good. It was really really good. What was good about it was that it was both fun and entertaining and efficacious. They made me think about life differently and opened my eyes to new things which is more than I can say for other productions I’ve seen. It was a balance that maintained effortlessly. It was a well put together piece. But I hoped for a more focused purpose? I don’t know if that made sense but it made a lot of people laugh but sometimes, some of the ‘plays’ just seemed like ways to show off the various skills of the actors. It doesn’t necessarily mean everything had to have a purpose, I don’t know, when I create theatre, I like there to have a purpose to show the intention. I believe it’s very important in art, art can not be accidental to me. But that’s just me. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I really enjoyed myself watching Vicky be great. I always knew she had comic genius in her. I’m so glad she is paving the way for theatre students coming out of SOTA. I’m so so so proud of her.

Looking at her perform, made me really really miss theatre. I know I’ve probably said this before but I just wanted to move and to create something. I feel almost like a piece of me is missing. I miss the creation and the focus and intensity that’s required for theatre. I miss the support of my friends, the constant giving and taking and the understanding that was established between us. I mean, every single week for the past five years, I have created and lived and breathe theatre. How can I not miss it? I miss Vicky too 😦 Vicky was the perfect IPP mate for me, we understood each other, I never felt judged or condescended to when I pitch ideas, and we almost never had a fight (we did once, about a charger but that’s cause vic’s crazy OCD and wants to see a green light on her charger all the time…) I could say the dumbest ideas I had to her and she would go with it. And this extended to the whole group, we knew how we worked. We knew who was who and we were never afraid to give ourselves to the art. Together we were fearless and creative. Ah, we had so much fun. I missed them so, and I miss making something worthwhile for society. In some ways, I was jealous of the amazing things victoria was doing. I wanted to be doing them too, I don’t want to sit on the sidelines or the audience area, watching. I want to create. But then again, I’m also afraid. I’m afraid of what I make, afraid it’s not good enough, afraid I forgot how to make theatre, afraid of making theatre with other people. After finding, an almost perfect group to devise, viewpoint, perform with, how could I go and do the same thing with someone else. We had a very specific theatre training and upbringing that kept our basic concept of theatre the same. No fluff, sincere, honest, physical work, intimate spaces, listening to one another, reacting, inside out. We could argue about the practitioners or about the nitty gritty, but the border line was that we knew in our heart that we wanted to create theatre in that way. No matter if it was Nabil’s Brown Theatre, Nick’s Robert Wilson or Bevin’s Grotowski, we all had some basic concept that was like a thread that held us together. I’m afraid to go to another group, and have to adapt to their ideas of theatre and their perceptions of acting. I know it’s selfish of me to want everyone to think the same way, it highly highly improbable. But it’s so much easier. I guess I’m scared of taking the hard way.


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