I want to write today about transitions, my dad told me before I left that, between the end of something and the beginning of something, there is a transition period. This period is like a river, you are in the river with no time limit and you can either sail to the other side smoothly, or be pushed back to shore and taken by the river. It’s tough, but you need to in some ways, give up what you have ended and look to the future for a whole new experience. For me, being thrown into this new environment was a very interesting experience. At first I had trouble in this new environment, I made friends but it was hard being alone and having to find some people to hang out with all the time (my family takes up most of my time). I realised also that in some ways, I was looking to replace my old friends but it is completely impossible. Daren told me that I had to move on, my experience on SOTA was amazing and I met such amazing people and made fantastic friends but I’m in a new environment and I have to embrace that. It was hard to let something like that go, but absolutely necessary.
In this new phase in life, I’m confronted with the question of who am I? and who do I want to be? I mean, just today, I had two choices. I could have gone out for a night of drinking and dancing or stayed in and chilled with friends and watched Lord of The Rings. I mean, it’s kinda like this game I play, Surviving High School and Cause of Death, where each choice makes you go down a different path. It’s just like that. I feel slowly my identity of myself is being challenged and pulled and manipulated. You could really be anything you want here. You could be a nerd, a party-goer, or just a cool friend to hang with. It’s a struggle to define who you are and who you want to be. I mean, there are times when I do want to be one of those who dresses up and goes clubbing, but then I also want to do super well in class or be the sporty athletic kind. It’s a confusing to make sense of it all, but I know it will be good for me.